Rosie Bowie - Being Single - 6 Nov
Singles Facing Summer Alone
1. Remember it's Christmas - have good will in your heart. Refresh you approach to yourself and your partner. Take a new approach and be open and fresh
2. Give yourselves a present - go somewhere different, try something different, do something that you haven't before - something that you may have wanted
3. Take a 'late' or an 'early' holiday. Christmas itself is full of pressure - family, financial and otherwise. Try and break through that by going somewhere different at a different time - remove the pressure and enjoy the time
4. Prepare. Nothing succeeds like preparation. You know what's likely to happen - parties, pressures, bills, expectations - so prepare for them in advance. Don't let 'surprises' that you could have prepared for overtake you.
Be Happy - you only have one life. Don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself. You can enjoy the peace of solitude, or withstand the pain of loneliness. If you're alone then make the most of it. It won't last. But it's very much a 'state of mind' thing. You must not tell yourself to be downcast and miserable. You really will get what you want if you keep upbeat and remain in good mental space
Plan Ahead - you may not have anyone special, but you need to make a plan by looking at what you can do with your days. Spend some time working out the things you would like to do, places you'd like to go and work on doing it. Do things to help fill in the time- go walking, attend the local church or other community activities, invite neighbours and friends in for a celebration of the festive season.
Too many people take things 'day by day' without having any, fixed objective. If you plan, you will not only get to look forward to doing things and going places, but you will also feel better and put yourself into a space where you will be much more likely to, and receptive to receiving other people into your life.
Self Improve - summer days can be great to actually do things for yourself to make yourself a better person. We can all do with improvement. But what do you want to be better at? Speaking? Fitness? Languages? Self image? Knowledge of history? Read, study, attend a course and you will feel a totally new, more accomplished person by doing something for yourself that adds to the 'total you'.
Treat Yourself - you are special. Give
yourself a summer treat that inspires and encourages you to feel
good about yourself. Maybe it's a personal trainer, golf
lessons, sailing lessons, a day spa, a new outfit. Don't be
hard on yourself. By giving yourself something you're not
only feeling good about it, but you're also saying that you're a
good person. The result will be that you not only feel better
about yourself, but you will project a better self image
You're not alone - there are plenty of other singles out there. You can work out places to go where you can meet others in a similar situation, be it at the tennis club, swimming club, a wine and food festival, walking group. Check out clubs and groups that are themselves doing things - often for singles - and follow up with a plan to do something with them.
Find a Friend - look up someone you haven't
seen for a long time. A long lost friend, a relative you may
have lost contact with, someone from school. It's a great
time to do it and you will be surprised how often your
'find-a-friend' practice can result in finding a 'special' friend
as well - you will expand your chances of meeting new people and
having your actions acknowledged with a fresh, feel-good