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Ok, let's not beat around the bush. This is what you call a junket, an invitation from Great Southern Rail to travel gold service class on board the iconic Indian Pacific train from Sydney to Perth for its annual Christmas trip.
The 4,300 km journey offered the perfect opportunity to experience the quintessential Aussie outback and a great chance for new TVNZ bureau cameraman Dan Irvine to film a slice of "real Australia".
We arrived at Sydney central station and started filming train preparations. Little did we know the other 20 media guests were keeping the barman busy in the lounge carriage.
The locomotive and its silver carriages meandered out of the station. Dan and I were shown to our rooms in the carriage next door to the lounge bar. The wood grained paneling with the gold service sign didn't disappoint. The door swung open to reveal a four seat couch which converted to a comfy bed, a side table under a large window and a private bathroom. We were off to a good start.
As the train snaked its way west we filmed the lush tree canopy of the Blue Mountains under a setting sun. Happy with our day's work we retired to the lounge where conversation was in full swing. Damien, the barman, refueled media reps' glasses. It probably took his mind off his sleeping disorder, nightmares he blamed on the blue cheese.
Out first major stop was Broken Hill, the former home of Australian mining that now resembled an old folk's home. The fall off in production meant most of the town's younger people have moved on.
From there it was on to Adelaide, some 500km away, where we made a tragic mistake, joining a guided bus tour. We found ourselves stuck on a bus for a painstaking 90 minutes while the driver/ tour conductor criticised city councilors for their lack of foresight and action.
The photo of the retired couple next to us says it all. They looked like Dan and I felt.
From Adelaide, we headed into the heart of the Australian outback and the Nullabor Plain, which is Latin for no tree. We arrived at a tiny dot on the map, called Watson which was basically a road that came out of nowhere and stopped at the train track.
People had travelled hundreds of kilometres to meet the train, or more specifically Santa, who uses the Indian Pacific as his reindeer at this time of year.
Santa aka Bruce (a retired bank manager) was back for his seventh tour of duty for the train company. Every few hours he'd don the red suit and black boots to hand out goodies to isolated communities along the way. Dan got on with Bruce quite well, sharing several lunches together. Strangely though, on the final day, Bruce asked Dan if he'd just hopped on the train at the last stop.
Former Australian Idol star, Shannon Noll, was in charge of entertainment. He belted out tunes at many of the stops. Shannon travelled in style at the front of the train in the Chairman's carriage, a two bedroom apartment with a massive lounge and private dining room. I didn't hear any complaints about the blue cheese from that end of the train.
The last stop before Perth was a cattle station called Rawlinna at the end of the Nullabor plain. They breed them tough out there. I spied a local bloke clutching a cold one leaning on his ute, which was as well armed as the NZ army, explaining the ins and outs of dingo hunting to wide-eyed Shannon Noll.
The following morning, the train rolled into Perth. We'd travelled 4,300 kilometres over three days and nights across the Aussie outback only to board a plane and be back in Sydney four hours later.
Read more of Steve Marshall's blogs.
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