When too much is never enough

Published: 3:42PM Thursday May 07, 2009 Source: AAP

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Are you dissatisfied with your life, even though you've got everything you ever wanted - kids, a lovely house, a loving partner?

Have you landed that dream job or reached the pinnacle of your career, yet still feel empty inside?

If this is you, you may be suffering from paradise syndrome - a term used by cultural commentators to describe a condition where people feel dissatisfied even thought they've achieved their dreams.

The condition isn't officially recognised by psychologists but Queensland psychology lecturer Dr Yong Wah Goh says it reflects very real experiences.

We are stuck in a "narcissistic era", he says, causing us to constantly readjust our benchmarks, so too much is never enough.

"People who have unrealistic, high expectations will never be satisfied, their goalpost is always changing," said Goh, an expert in occupational stress, from his office at the University of Southern Queensland.

"The way the world is now it seems to support the development of the more narcissistic attitude."

Victoria Beckham and Madonna are examples of people who may be suffering from Paradise syndrome.

"It's me, me, me all the time," said Goh of paradise syndrome amongst celebrities like these.

"They'll do everything to satisfy themselves first."

"Everyone around them they see as people who will bolster themselves, they don't like to be around people who make them feel bad.

"The paradise syndrome is a consequence of ... having a very high expectation about yourself ... and not being able to ... let your mind relax."

Kim Serafini, the Queensland based author of I Am Gr8full For Life, says paradise syndrome can occur when people lose sight of who they are.

She says people who define themselves by a particular "role" - such as "mother", "athlete", "business executive" or a "movie star", are most at risk.

"It's somebody who identifies themselves by their title or their role," says Serafini.

She says the condition is linked to leisure sickness, where people become ill or stressed when they take time off work.

"During the week they feel great about themselves because they are whoever they've tied themselves up into being," she says.

But when the weekend rolls around or they go on holidays they fall apart, feel physically sick and can even suffer heart attacks.

"People feel it when they're supposed to be savouring paradise ... but you can't appreciate the fact that you're there because you feel like you've left you behind, which is your identity," she says.

Serafini admits that "leisure syndrome" is controversial among medical experts, who often diagnose the symptoms as anxiety, caffeine withdrawal or even the flu.

"There's a fair bit of dispute from psychologists about whether it exists or not ... because it has a ... physical component," she says.

"But the truth is it does exist.

"It exists for people who are really into ego and who are really into doing and not into being.

"A lot of us are so caught up in who we think we are that we don't separate our role through the week to who we really are on the weekend."

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