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Tiger Woods - Source: Reuters -
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Be still my beating heart! Tiger Woods, the man whose fame as a golfer has been eclipsed by his athletic, systematic and callous ("What, no protection?" "No problem, I'm only married") philandering, is set to make an apology from the PGA's headquarters in Florida in two days.
The setting is apposite; the PGA is one of the many businesses affected by Tiger's cheating. One study put the losses from the Tiger's sex scandal at around $17 billion in shareholder value. Corner offices at sports conglomerates like Nike must be resounding to the fizzzz of bottles of healthful water being uncapped. Perhaps there will even be backslapping.
But the details of this apology, as laid out by Tiger's agent Mark Sternberg, make me think; There's ordinary person sorry ("My apologies, I'm a twit, I wrecked it, I'll try and do better in the future; yes I am a twit, a moron in fact") and there's Tiger Woods sorry.
How does Tiger apologise? Same way he plays golf; really skillfully and with minimal intrusion to the bubble he has created for himself. Though some news organisations are calling this a press conference, it's nothing of the sort. Tiger will be speaking before a small group of friends, colleagues and associates. He will discuss his past and his future. There he plans to apologise for his behaviour.
Discuss?! How do you have a discussion with your mates about your moral failings? "Yeah, I kinda three-putted the whole husband-father-role-model thing, but I've got it back on track now." There won't be any antagonistic questioning. Some members of the press will be on hand but only as observers. Wow, now that's a failure of nerve. Couldn't they rustle up some supine golf hacks to massage the Great Cat's ego? Or perhaps some soft-ball celebrity shoulder to cry on? Wasn't Larry King available?
As yet there are no reports as to whether his wife Elin Nordegren will be in attendance. I wonder how many women will be amongst this audience of friends, colleagues and close associates?
This was never a story about sex. It was about money and control. Tiger didn't present himself as John Daly: Drunk, disorderly, and troubled. He was the family man, the good son, the dutiful husband. He reserved the right to harvest a billion dollars-plus from this image, while also (as the colourful New York expression puts it) getting more ass than a toilet seat at Grand Central Station.
He played everyone for fools. He acted as if he could cheat on his wife and numerous mistresses, imperilling their sexual health without consequences. He deceived fans and sponsors, doubtless causing them to shed staff in what was already a huge recession. He made innocent people suffer so that he could live a fantasy.
Now with another half-baked apology that seems like he will have
all fingers and toes crossed, once again Tiger Woods is demanding
to control the game. He's avoiding the full penalty. He's insisting
that others help pay the price for his cold, cold love.
