Goodbye Beijing! 

Dan Buckingham is captain of the Wheel Blacks, defending champions in Wheelchair Rugby at the Paralympics. Follow his blog here...

September 19: Goodbye Beijing!

The games are over. As far as I can tell they have been faultless - the organisation has been phenomenal, and the title of 'best Paralympic Games ever' was well deserved.

However, since we have finished competing I have also been lucky enough to see the other side of the city: the chaos of Beijing.

Living in the village for over two weeks now it feels a little like I have been living in a bubble. Everything is laid on, to the point of institutionalisation.

I say this with a positive tone - as an athlete it is great to have nothing to worry about. Logistically everything is taken care of, all one has to worry about is how they perform in their chosen sport.

Obviously for us, we must have either worried too much or didn't worry enough about our performance, as we finished well below expectation. The way wheelchair rugby petered out went like this: although there were 5 teams that realistically could have taken the gold at these games, the Yanks were the clear favourites, and the team everybody loves to hate came through in the end.

Australia put up a valiant effort in the final to take the silver, after knocking Canada off their pedestal in the semi-final. Canada finished with the bronze. Great Britain took out the perennial spot them seem to have to themselves at every major tournament: 4th.

And of course we finished back in 5th after comfortably putting Germany away in the finale of the bottom bracket. Japan and China rounded out the eight teams that qualified for the games, with Japan beating the host nation easily.

Once the competition was over, I made a conscious decision to make sure I enjoy what life has to offer by making the most of my time left in Beijing. It was great to get out and see the real side - to eat authentic food, to witness the seeming anarchy of bikes and cars flowing with ease.

Mingling in the back streets I felt a fantastic unpretentious vibe about the city, and the bars (at least the ones that aren't full of tourists) are relaxed, comfortable and inviting. The types of places where you start a night and intend to move on from and bar hop, but get so relaxed there you end up staying far longer than intended.

Now, with everything done and dusted, the standard question is getting asked - whether people will continue on for another campaign or not. For myself it is often hard to give a straight one word answer back, and over the last couple of days I have questioned if I want to put myself back on the roller coaster ride of emotions.

However, the definitive answer I keep coming back to, is yes. It is times like this when I get to take stock of what I do, and I realise how lucky I am to play sport at this level and get to indulge in so many of the opportunities that come with it.

The most obvious of the opportunities of course being the travelling, and getting to meet and work with so many great people. The Deb Shattock's and the Rod Corban's of Paralympics New Zealand are simply world class when it comes to high performance, and I feel honoured to have been part of such a great team.

And above all, I still feel privileged to be a Wheel Black. I have no doubt I will enjoy taking time off over summer, but at the same time I have no doubt I will be hanging out to get back into it once the new season rolls around. So with that said and done, this ends my final post from Beijing, but there will many more to come from many more cities.

September 15: A game of surprises

The final is set to go off between Australia and the USA tomorrow (Tuesday). This competition showed how tight it is with Great Britain narrowly losing to the States in the first semi, before Aussie beat Canada by 1 in overtime in the second semi.

We are fierce rivals with the Aussies when we are playing each other, but off the court we usually get on alright, and all of the New Zealand team actually plays in the Australian competition for one team or another, so it was good to see my team mates from Melbourne go through.

As for us, time is proving to be a quick healer. The old cliché of the sun still rises is ringing true. We threw the ball around with ease against China today and had a lot of fun.

Tomorrow we play our final game, the play off for 5th and 6th. I picked the game would be against Japan, but these games continue to throw up surprises with Germany stepping up, so we will once again play the tall timber of Deutschland.

Once the final whistle of our game blows the opportunity comes to check out the sights and sounds of Beijing&.. could be a few days before my next blog.

September 14: Beginning to heal 

Ken Sowden, the operations manager for the NZ Paralympic team, met us as we got back to the village tonight (Sunday), as he has done the last two nights. The difference tonight, I was able to look him in the eye and give him a smile.

Ken is someone who has had something to do with the Wheel Blacks in one form or another for pretty much as long as the Wheel Blacks have existed. He has stuck with us through thick and thin, so it felt good that we were able to put together a performance tonight for people like Ken.

Germany isn't the fastest or the hardest physically, but they are an awkward team to play. They play some really good fundamental rugby, and in the past they have pushed teams like the USA and GB to within one point of winning.

Today, however, we finally showed a glimpse of what we know we can do, and put them away by nine. With two games to go, we're doing our best to enjoy our time left here together, and go out with our heads held high.

September 13: I need a rock to hide under

It would be really good right now to have a deep dark hole to crawl into, or a rock to go hide under.

We lost again tonight (Friday), putting us out of contention for a medal and the best we can do now is 5th.

The emotions are coming in waves - initially it was disbelief, which I guess was good because it meant I could man up to the cameras, but once I was in the dressing room the tears flowed - I sobbed like a baby.

We put our heart and soul into this campaign, and will be going away from it with nothing. What makes it all the worse is I had one of the worse games of my career. It is my job to be safe with the ball, and I continually gave it away. I just don't know what went wrong - my prep was great, I felt great&.. and then mistake after mistake.

The big positive for me was watching Curtis kick ass and get us back in the game, and Dave K too, for his first Paralympics he is excelling.

Once I composed myself (sort of) I got on the bus and was back at the village, where I went straight for a Big Mac for a bit of comfort food but needless to say, it didn't help. Now I'm feeling empty, and have started to feel pissed off at myself, that I let so many down, including myself.

There is no way to sugar coat it, and although I know it won't help by beating myself up about it all, the reality is I didn't perform. Now, the hard part: we have to step up and play three more games, starting with Germany tomorrow (Saturday).

Thanks to all for the messages of support that have been coming through thick and fast because they help to remind us it isn't the end of the world and that the sun will rise again tomorrow - a new day, and a new game to play awaits us.


September 12: A major low

The highs and lows of high performance sport. Tonight (friday night) was a real low.

Because we lost, obviously, but the real kicker for me was I had a chance to take us to over time and I blew it. We stole the ball off their inbound with 30 seconds on the clock, and instead of pulling out and scoring last, which would have meant tied scores and 3 mins of overtime, I saw the open goal and scored quick.

This gave Great Britain the opportunity to score last and win the game.... an opportunity they nailed.

From here, we still have a chance, we have just made it a hell of a lot harder. We have to step up and beat Aussie on Saturday night and beat them well to counter the possibility of a count back if they go on to beat Great Britain.

So now we are back in the village, we have done what we can to recover. Now it is time to get to sleep, and go through it all again tomorrow.

September 12: Finally it's game time

Finally, it is time to play. Emotions have ebbed and flowed during the build up, and without a doubt, I have felt the burden of pressure and expectation, whether it is real or imagined.

Today on the eve of our first game and I feel relaxed. All our preparation is done and whether it was wrong, right, or could have been better, it is done, behind us, and out of our control. Beyond the Great Britain game there are four more games that will be just as intense and important, but again, at this stage they are out of our control.

All we have to focus on is beating the team in front of us right now, which is GB and when it is put in perspective like this, it makes me relax, because I know we can beat them. We have a game plan I am confident in, we just have to go out and execute it.

Outside of watching some video footage, Friday just disappeared before I knew it. Having a couple of friends from Christchurch in the village to hang out with did make things easier somewhat.

The highlight of the day of course was watching Sophie dominate in the IM. She is someone we could all learn from about staying relaxed and focused and for a 15 year old she shows maturity beyond her years.

The great thing about her is even though she is already a star she is as down to earth as any of us.

September 10: Big ups to the staff  

Tonight we had a warm up game against Germany - it was our last chance to have a hit out before the big show. We planned the whole day to replicate what we will do during competition, a lot of which revolves around eating and down time, but also when we go over tactics, video, when we leave for the venue, then it comes down to minute by minute what our prep is at the venue.

The game itself went really well. We tend to beat ourselves up at times about the little things we don't get right, which I think is good - we're not content with anything being mediocre - but consequently this means we can leave a game where we kicked ass with a bad taste in our mouths, or feeling negative. Tonight it was a bit like that, we had to take a step back before we could realise we did play pretty bloody well.

I have to give big ups to our bench staff as well. Things tend to get heated during a game and when a player wants something, they want it NOW! Our staff are great at realising its nothing personal when they get yelled at, and they really do bend over backwards to make sure we have little to worry about except doing what we need to do on court.

Particular credit should go to Jason Healy, our video analyst. As soon as we got back to the village tonight Tim and I were able to go through all the inbounds we did during the game. Jason works hard to have all the information we need on ourselves and other teams at the touch of a button. It is information that at this level we would be behind the eight ball without.

September 9: When it rains it pours

Turns out when it rains, it pours in Beijing.

After cooking for the first days here the weather has turned and tonight the sky's opened. Still, that was no excuse not to get out and welcome our latest medallist, Kate Horan, back to the village with a haka. Unfortunately for us the temp is supposed to get back up into the 30's in time for our first game against GB on Friday.

Coming straight out of winter it is something we identified early on that may impact on our performance. We prepared as best we could, which included training before we left inside a heat lab in 30+ degrees, with 70% humidity. We also have a huge array of ice jackets, and have sussed out the effects of pre-cooling, and the most practical way for us to go about it.

Since getting to Beijing we have been able to check out our comp venue and the temp there is supposed to be controlled between 18 - 22 degrees, so all going well there will be no drama there, but it is being drained day to day that could hurt us.

The village is flat and easy to get around, but between going back and forth to the dining room a few times and all the rest it is easy to spend too much time in the heat and humidity.

Besides the weather, not too much to talk about on the Wheel Black front today. It was a rest and recovery day, so nothing more exciting happening other than some video analysis. It was a good chance to get my parents into the village though, which was a nice way to take my mind off the anticipation and pressure as the calm drags on before the storm.

Tomorrow we have a warm up game against the Germans. I'm hanging out for it. They are not the biggest threats to us, but they are a bit of an awkward team to play, so it will be a great litmus test for us to see how sharp we are. Watch this space&..

September 8: Mountain to climb

I have to admit I had a lump in my throat today as Paula stepped up to accept New Zealand's first gold medal of the Beijing Paralympics.

Unfortunately I missed her actual race - I was upstairs working away on my laptop with my head phones on but I still heard the shouts of joy and encouragement from some of the team gathered to watch on the TV.

I got in the lift and got down in time for medal ceremony and to see Paula sing along to the anthem as the New Zealand flag was raised.

It brought back a few memories of our moment in the sun four years ago in Athens, but even more so it raised the anticipation of having the opportunity to do it again here in Beijing.

Athens was great, but it seems so long ago now and I want to have that feeling again.

Ahead of us I know there is a huge mountain to climb, but that will just make it feel that much better when we get to the top.

September 7: Being here is everything

Beijing is simply phenomenal. Now the games have well and truly kicked off they are everywhere. We have closed circuit TV in our apartment here in the village, which has about 10 channels showing different sports competing. This is on top of the two channels they have beaming out 24/7 to all of China.

What was really hard to grasp was the size and number of big screens we seen around the city as we travelled back from our training venue on the bus. Calling them big screens is an understatement: I'm talking screens an easy 20 metres wide, with crystal clear definition.

We have had our first glimpse of medals too, with a few athletes sporting theirs around the food hall. We're still a few days away from our chance to hang one around our necks, but we took another step towards it with a warm up game today against Japan. Fair to say not our best performance, but it was great to have a hit out.

One of the biggest challenges we face back home is not getting regular high-level competition. We are too geographically isolated to compete against other international teams on a regular basis, and we lack the player depth to really push each other hard in our domestic league.

The way we make up for it is to train up able-bodied guys to play in scout teams against us during training camps. It works out great, and the scout team has become so well drilled under Canterbury coach and player Greg 'Jeffy' Mitchell that they actually beat us as often as not, but to be here and only a few days out from our pinnacle event it is great to sharpen up against another international team.

Two people that stood out for me today were Tim and Curtis. Tim is an intelligent player, really analytical. He knows this game inside out. Coupled with the fact that he does not seem to possess the ability to speak with an audible level that could appropriately be called an 'inside voice', he directs play well. Today he was on fire, barking orders and providing us all with direction, but also making some sharp moves himself and really carrying the ball up court well.

Curtis showed a level of maturity on court I've never seen from him before. Probably more known for his natural flare, today he was all about control. He was calm and concise, seeing the play and making it happen.

As for me, some uncharacteristic stuff early on that I wasn't happy with, but with team mates on fire around me I soon lifted my standard and I felt like I was starting to hit my stride near the end, which felt great. What feels even better is I know I can lift even more in the few days we have left before the competition starts, and I am confident I will be on fire for our first game against GB on the 12th.

September 6: Magic Opening Ceremony

Entering the stadium tonight, packed to capacity with endless flash bulbs going off, the silver fern on one side of my chest, the Paralympics New Zealand Koru on the other, was pure magic. It is one of those fleeting moments in time that will last a lifetime. There is no way to do it justice by trying to retell or recreate - it is something that has to be experienced to be believed.

As we continued round the stadium, we thought we had had our moment in the sun, as great as it was, and then we hit the section of the stands with the Kiwi supporters. Was all that noise coming from just that little group??!! The flags with the fern were easy to spot, being flung wildly around like a little bit of the Carisbrook terraces had been transported right here to Beijing.

Words fail me now, and fatigue hits me. The games have begun in earnest, but right now it is time to come back down to earth, get some rest, and be ready for our warm up game against Japan tomorrow.

September 5: Full training begins

Today was our fourth day in Beijing, and our first full training session. We've learnt a few things about the importance of rest before a big tournament from previous campaigns...

Well, in particular, from our last trip to the USA and Canada, where we didn't have coach Grant to keep us under control and we went out and killed ourselves by training our asses off (basically boys being boys and trying to outdo each other). So this time round, for the big show in Beijing, we're trying to be smart about resting up and being prepared.

The hard part about this, is putting up with the geniuses that think they have a better idea about what we should be doing, and freely voice their opinion about how and what we should be doing. The thing about people like that is they are in a win-win situation. If we go through and achieve what we've set out for - the Gold Medal - then whatever they said will be forgotten. However, if for whatever reason we don't make it, they will be the first to say I told you so: you should have been training from the day you got here, and all the rest of it.

I even heard a suggestion today that we should all be wearing the exact same clothes as each other in the village to bring us together as a team. The Wheel Blacks are already as tight as a team can be: it is our strength. It gets us through the training, the down times and lets us make the most of the good times. I try to bite my tongue when I hear this stuff from people that don't know what they don't know, but I must have been caught while I was a little tired earlier and I snapped back. Oh well, I will have to work on my patience a bit I think....

On a positive note now, we had a cool trip out to the NZ embassy tonight. A chance to throw on our no. 1's and mingle with a few dignitaries. The main point of the night was to name our flag bearer to lead us into the opening ceremony tomorrow. Attending his fourth Paralympics, and having already achieved two bronze medals and a gold, our flag bearer is Wheel Black Sholto Taylor.

Another special part of the night was to take some time to honour the memory of legendary NZ Paralympian Graham Condon, who tragically died last year. He lives on in the legacy he created. Chef de Mission Duane Kale recounted the day he met Graham, and told us how Graham inspired him to achieve as much as he has in his life.

Just back at the village now it's time to hit the hay, definitely feeling jaded today. Tomorrow brings a whole lot more, including the Opening Ceremony.

September 4: Kiwi flags goes up

The highlight of day 3 today was our flag raising ceremony. Team management gathered us together to run through the protocol for the evening, but then surprised us with a gift of a piece of greenstone. The athletes lined up and received the pounamu from Team Captain Tim Prendegast, Chef de Mission Duane Kale and cultural advisor (and Wheel Black), Sholto Taylor. It may seem like a simple gesture, but little things like that are pretty special; once in a lifetime stuff. Something to treasure and remember.

The actual flag raising ceremony is a bit of a drab affair, just quietly. In a nutshell, the way it runs is three teams at a time are scheduled to meet, listen to a few speeches, and then watch as the Paralympic flag is raised, as well as their own pennon. However, in true fashion, the Kiwis managed to spice things up a little (and seriously disrupt the proficient organisation of the Chinese) by breaking into a rendition of Tu Tira Mai Nga Iwi. Sholto followed this up by leading us in a haka.

There is often comment around the haka being overdone and all that at events like this. Trust me, there is nothing like what we just went though: in front of our flag, a bunch of Kiwis half way round the world, putting their hands up and saying we're here, and we're damn proud of who we are and what we represent.

Tomorrow brings more pomp and ceremony with a visit to the New Zealand embassy. Looking forward to it.

September 3: A war of words

The war of words has begun as we begin to hear how other teams are rating themselves. Apparently a couple of the Aussie boys were quoted on Australian national news before they left saying they are rated as the number one favourites going into this tournament, with USA, Canada, Great Britain and New Zealand behind them in that order. However, after playing these guys year in and year out, one thing we have definitely learned is take what they say with a grain of salt. Adam Frost, one of the Canadian coaches, was also overheard talking up the way he sees the final playing out: between them and the USA. Once again, New Zealand seems to be nowhere in sight from his point of view.

I wouldn't go so far as to say other teams have written us off, but we don't seem to be seen as the biggest threat. This is fine by me, and it is even a little reminiscent of Athens, where we were seeded 6th, but ended up spoiling everybody's party by taking home the Gold.

So we are letting the side distractions like what other people are saying fall where they may, and we are concentrating on what we can control, which right now means recovering from the flight, and preparing ourselves to play. We're doing our homework on all the other teams, knowing that in a competition this tight we can't afford to be complacent with any team.

For me, it feels like I have a few nerves already, even though we don't play our first game until the 12th. However, I think it is more just a case of pent up energy than anything else - our first game against Great Britain seems so close, yet it is far enough away that I am bouncing off the walls a bit. At this stage I'm just hanging out to get stuck into it. 

September 2: We made it

The Wheel Blacks arrived in Beijing today safe and sound, ready to join the rest of the Kiwi contingent that is already here. Camp mother Deb Shattock greeted us as we cleared customs, laden with plenty of snacks and of water. We were quickly reaching for the fluid as the heat hit us. Beyond the 32-degrees and the humidity, first impression of the games here in China is that everything is efficient. I think this was a bit of a given, we expected the efficiency, but over and above that expectation, we are all impressed with the way it is done with a smile. So far the Chinese are ridiculously keen to help, almost generous to a fault as it becomes hard to do anything without at least a couple of people cheerfully trying to do it for you.

Once the logistics had been taken care of, like checking over our luggage, getting to the village and getting through the accreditation process, day one in the Paralympic village is like being a kid at Christmas. We got to our rooms to find our uniform laid out for us. Highlights include a classy set of nu. 1's; a very understated plain black merino top that will be great to wear back home without feeling like a show off; and a huge array of casual tees, polo's, trackies and shorts to wear day to day in the village. The gift packs are huge too - back packs full of goodies.

Once we had sifted through all this there was barely time for a bit of recon to the food and entertainment centres, before we all headed back to NZ HQ to kick back with a cup of Milo. Now, as bed time closes in, we're all pretty much knackered, but there is an underlying sense of excitement about it all that is hard to put into words. Even with the exhaustion that comes from travelling around the world, I think it is going to be hard to sleep tonight...

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