Norm Clarke has prowled Las Vegas for five years with a trademark eye patch, a roguish grin and a nose for news.
He's the gossip columnist for the Las Vegas Review-Journal who broke the Britney Spears 55-hour marriage story, among others.
But he figured all that collected gossip and wisdom deserves a bigger audience and a longer shelf life. And he's right.
The result is a tome titled "Vegas Confidential: 1,000 Naked Truths" which serves equally well as escapist entertainment and useful guidebook.
You want the best shows, best restaurants, best hangouts for locals, best pickup spots?
Norm has pages of picks packed with anecdotes that keep you reading even if you don't have travel plans.
You want history?
Mormons got there first, in 1855. Other notches in the timeline: Gambling was legalised in 1931. Bugsy Siegel opened the Flamingo in 1946. The first topless show debuted in 1957. The Rat Pack hit town in 1960. And the Mirage opened in 1989, triggering the boom in mega-resorts.
You want celebrities?
Look for Joe Torre and Ozzy Osbourne at Grand Lux, Jerry Lewis and Mike Tyson at Pier's Italian Cuisine, Jason and Jeremy Giambi at rumjungle bar, Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley at the MGM Grand golf course.
You want secrets of the stars?
When Barbara Streisand performed at the MGM Grand for a week in 1999, she asked that no employee make eye contact with her. Bill Gates, Pete Rose and Tiger Woods are famously bad tippers. Elizabeth Taylor brought her dog to see Siegfried and Roy.
You want wretched excess?
The Ritz-Carlton Valentine Special includes three nights and a Mercedes, all for just $US95,000 - but you get to keep the Mercedes. A $US1,050 shot of scotch at Bellagio's Prime restaurant is the most expensive drink in town. A team of 40 Elvis impersonators awaits your call.
You want the truth?
The notion
that poker machines at the airport are more generous than others -
so visitors will go home happy - is an urban myth. So is the tale
that casinos pump extra oxygen through the air
ducts to keep gamblers awake longer.
Perhaps most important, if you're heading to Vegas and don't have the book, here are Norm's 10 Things to Leave at Home:
Your
spouse ("Just kid-d-d-d-ing," he adds.)
Your hometown values
Your diet
Your sleeping pills
Your temper
Your attitude
Your fear of crowds
Your new shoes
Your Bible
The book is available at www.stephenspress.com
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