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All Blacks' player ratings: The hunk factor

Published: 2:00PM Wednesday August 24, 2011 Source: ONE Sport

  • Victor Vito, Zac Guildford, Dan Carter (Source: Getty)
    Victor Vito, Zac Guildford, Dan Carter - Source: Getty

We've won already - hands down really. No one can beat the All Blacks in the Hunky World Cup. That's the unanimous conclusion of the shallow women of Facebook and Twitter, and no doubt the female staff of workplaces nationwide.

Because, put simply, some women really don't give a damn about how the players perform on the park. They just want a bit of eye candy if they are going to have to watch rugby for a month. And in this Rugby World Cup squad there are 10 top All Black talents to be distracted by.

Sorry for the 20 who didn't make the cut on this list. All Blacks management know you will be feeling down right now. But you have a mental skills coach with the All Blacks - so pay him a visit.

The Petone Panther Victor Vito is a clear hit - and not just with selectors.

Shalinee wrote on Facebook about Vito: "He may just inspire me to watch Rugby again!"

Leah added Vito was "Like a movie star!"

Victor Vito

One woman was overheard in Auckland saying Vito was perfect in every way possible. "He is absolutely gorgeous and not a lot you can fault about him..."

So Vito is a clear favourite, but there were a few fringe selections in the top 10, decided largely based on what's been gleaned through social media and at the water cooler.

Sonny Bill Williams is still a big drawcard being described by at least one woman as "the only interesting thing about rugby". However this was the same woman who asked if Monaco was in the Rugby World Cup.

Another vote came from Tia, one of SBW's 205,000 Facebook fans, who wrote "Y u have to be so hot?"

Zac Guildford, sitting on 5963 Facebook fans, had Shannon write on his wall: "Meeannn Zac - you hot".

Another couldn't get enough of Dan Carter, but said he still wasn't as good as Josep "Pep" Guardiolo, the Spanish football manager and former player.

As with the All Blacks team itself, some may feel Sam Whitelock (below) is lucky to have made the top 10 cut - largely because he needs one. But that beard hides what eagle-eyed women reckon gets him on the list.

Still, to be able to pick 10 specialist hunks just shows the depth of beauty in this All Blacks side.

Compare that to the men wearing the English Rose. Pretty well all of them are actually thorns. The England squad has just four possible hunk contenders - Ben Youngs, Louis Deacon (bit pouty though), Ben Foden and Charlie Hodgson (eyes slightly too close together).

But as no one has heard of any of them, you'll have to Google image each to assess for yourself. Or take our word for it, we've done the research.

Gaze at the Wallabies side and you are likely to avert your eyes pretty smartly - they're as ugly as a hen's night without wine. Three are worth a second glance - and that's at a push. They are Berrick Barnes, Anthony Faingaa and naughty James 'Bieber' O'Connor (perhaps through beer goggles, yours, not his). Although one of the boys in the TVNZ newsroom says David Pocock "has big pythons" and is worth a look.

So forget those sporty player ratings you see written after a Test match - here are the ratings that matter - the All Black hunk player ratings - that have been created following some very unscientific research.

So tvnz.co.nz hasn't ranked them in order so as not to create any rivalry in the build-up to the Cup. Lord knows adidas and Telecom fighting over the worst PR campaign was bad enough.

Oh, and we don't want to upset anyone's mother. We know they are ALL beautiful to you.

Backs (they're the fast ones who do all the running and score tries)

Zac Guildford 8/10

Good eyes, good skin, great smile, fast runner, slightly baby face but scored well up against Andy Ellis in a recent Q and A on who was the most manly . Seems smart but a bit pouty.

Sonny Bill Williams 8.5/10

Great physique, good jaw, great physique, great physique. Rich. Seems a bit dumb though, but who cares. Great physique.

Richard Kahui 10/10

Perfect. Great smile, great eyes, great body. Great bloke. Runs fast too.

Daniel Carter 8/10

Bit overexposed and you almost know what's in the undies already. However works what he has well. Very good body. Reasonable face. X factor bumps him up to 8. Oh, and he is the best player in the world.

Andy Ellis 7/10

Blond and cute. Great smile. Married with kids. No he doesn't usually have a moustache.

Forwards (the ones who do all the pushing and smashing)

Jerome Kaino 7/10

May not have made the cut but for a shirtless image that you can find by Googling Jerome Kaino, images, and it comes up first. Great body. Strong jaw. Air of mystery.

Richie McCaw 8/10

Probably not a traditional looker but does a good line in pensive and sultry. Tough. Nice hair. Quizzical eyebrows. Bit dull at the end of a microphone but you don't have to listen, just look.

Victor Vito 10/10

Perfection. Spectacular smile. Great body. Great face. Great brain. A Samoan chief too.

Sam Whitelock 7/10

Puppy dog eyes. Good lips. Great smile. Mussed up hair. Slightly huge honker but... Hasn't had a shave for a while but there are pics around of him without the facial fuzz. He shouldn't cover up.

Anthony Boric 8/10

Divine 6ft 7 body. Extremely sexy smile. Exotic looking, from Croatian stock. Former head boy at Rosmini College in Auckland. Brainy.

So that's them. Don't worry too much if you lose the rugby, boys - you have plenty of women and no doubt a few blokes who will lend you a shoulder to cry on.

Do you agree with this shallow assessment of our All Blacks? Have your say on the messageboard below.

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  • AllBlacksGirl said on 2011-10-26 @ 18:44 NZDT: Report abusive post

    Come on guys, We watch rugby to see great play and nail-biting wins, not to judge the hotness rating of the players. This is coming from a 16 year old girl. Sure, many of them are blessed in the looks department and I know this is just a bit of harmless fun, but it makes me wonder whether peoples hearts are set on watching the game, or perving at the players.

  • AllBlacksGirl said on 2011-10-26 @ 18:44 NZDT: Report abusive post

    Come on guys, We watch rugby to see great play and nail-biting wins, not to judge the hotness rating of the players. This is coming from a 16 year old girl. Sure, many of them are blessed in the looks department and I know this is just a bit of harmless fun, but it makes me wonder whether peoples hearts are set on watching the game, or perving at the players.

  • ChloeW said on 2011-08-25 @ 18:58 NZDT: Report abusive post

    Richie McCaw does not deserve an 8! An 11 would be fitting. He is totally HOT! And this is coming from a 15 year old. And you could've at least bumped Zac Guildford up to a 9. I for one think hes totally hot! Would be my favorite if it were not for Richie. Not too sure though about Victor Vito, but you're totally spot on about Richard Kahui! He is GORGEOUS! If there were a RWC ranking of players based on looks he would be first equal with Richie! LOL.

  • mossmanboxer said on 2011-08-25 @ 09:49 NZDT: Report abusive post

    This is possibley the worst thing to ever happen to Nz Rugby

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