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Packed to the Rafters


Tim Porteous

Why I should win:

He is 21 years old, almost 22. He is a drummer in a band. His bedroom makes "Ground Zero" after 9/11 look tidy. He steals my shirts and jerseys. He has stolen over 60 pairs of socks from my dresser. I have to sleep with my last six pairs hidden under my pillow. The cats won't even go into his room, because of the smell. He has developed more strains of penicillin in his bedroom on dirty dishes than Alexander Fleming could ever have dreamed of. Somehow he even manages to entice females into his bedroom. His sister has to take them home. I have to wake him on average 6 times every morning to get him to go to work. He is incapable of putting rubbish in a garbage bin. His van, unregistered and unwarranted, attracts tickets. I am co-owner. I get the bills. I am tempted at times to punch him in the mouth, but since I spent over $7000 on braces for his mouth, I hold back.He can't cook anything, apart from burnt toast. I need help. He is beyond it, I think. Help. Please.