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Concept drawing of the proposed facility at Auckland's Queens Wharf - Source: ONE News
It was just after nine o'clock and we were folded up watching television. It must have been an ad break I think, 'cos it was that show where gypsies paint themselves in fake tan and wear those loud dresses and we were intoxicated by their pink, unashamed difference.
Yeah it was definitely an ad break. Definitely.
I'm sure of it now, 'cos the Briscoes lady was on and I remember she held my attention for a brief moment. She had a new haircut with a sort of deep red colour. It was a red, rich-velvet-cake red, not a gypsy-mum's-lipstick red. I thought it looked quite good.
It was then though, in this moment of acute ordinariness, by Mrs Briscoes and her bargains that my flatmate turned to me. Folded in relaxation, wine in hand, her digression was really quite staggering.
"You know that waterfront Cloud?"
"Yeah?"
"I quite like it eh."
Sitting on our Ikea chair, I was truly tickled pink. Not cheeks-on-a-frosty-morning pink either, but full blown I'm-a-16-year-old-gypsy-getting-married-and-I-want-to-look-like-I've-exploded-from-a-giant-vat-of-candyfloss-pink.
You see there are firsts for everything in life.
The four minute mile was once an impossibility. Space travel was beyond the comprehension of mankind's greatest minds. And the Queens Wharf Cloud had until that moment, served no purpose better than to fuel solid sessions of Kiwi whingeing.
Until that very second, that sentence, as Briscoes flicked to an ad for tyre discounts, that 200m structure has been criticised most comprehensively.
"It's a slug!" they cried.
"It looks like a giant piece of snot!"
"Is this how New Zealand really wants to welcome visitors&with a big tent?!" those most concerned exclaimed.
The ad switched to one of those health ones with the bald guy with deep voice. I turned to my flatmate and grinned.
I like the Cloud too. I always have. I think for the money they had and the time they had to make it they did a pretty good job. Sure, it isn't an Opera House. It wasn't designed by Frank Gehry. But it was never supposed to be. And I think for the short time it'll be there, the cloud serves its purpose with more class than $10 million would usually buy.
It's such a Kiwi thing, to be a hater. It is isn't it? To go with the masses and whinge. To squeeze and extract negatives from everything. We are such a nation of haters.
I'm glad, for at least the space of an ad break, in the tiny world that is our lounge, it changed.
I'm proud I've at least one comrade in the The-Cloud's-not-so-bad camp.
Cos really, it's not so bad. It's not so snotty. And it only looks a bit like a slug from afar. I don't think it's too plain.
And if you really, passionately want something different, we could just give those gypsies the contract?
To read more Jack Tame opinion click here .
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Add a Comment:
Post new commentHorace73 said on 2011-08-05 @ 17:52 NZDT: Report abusive post
For people like myself who don't really care about Rugby, the expense of a "Thing" like the Cloud is really a waste of money. And who may I asked has funded it?
djijt said on 2011-08-05 @ 16:53 NZDT: Report abusive post
wat else could represent our country better than a long white cloud, people cant expect a master piece structure at 2 million dollars and in a short space of time, it simple, straight forward and a perfect representation of kiwiana
rhyswilliams said on 2011-08-05 @ 15:16 NZDT: Report abusive post
You are smack on Jack, New Zealand is nation of plenty who can only find the negative in all we do. Often, these are the same people who have no positive solution to offer in support of their opinion, they just choose to whinge because they can; perhaps the 'tall poppy' syndrome? I find myself wondering what indeed motivates some people, or if in-fact they can be motivated by anything at all. I really hope the World Cup is a roaring success, go the AB's!