I've debated telling you this story.
It's completely unflattering. It will inevitably humiliate and
embarrass me and some poor person will probably have the awful
misfortune of conjuring up a mental picture.
I'll regret definitely regret this in a few days.
At about 10.30am on Boxing Day a powerful aftershock rocked central
Christchurch. It was violent; more than a hundred buildings in the
CBD were damaged, and building assessors may now condemn some
to death by wrecking ball.
Unlike the major 7.1 magnitude earthquake in September, this
earthquake came at a time when people were up and about in the
city. Boxing Day brought with it inevitable sales and thousands of
tourists from a visiting cruise liner were walking about the
Cathedral Square.
But at 10.30am, unlike half of Christchurch, I wasn't at the shops.
I hadn't grabbed any bargains or perused any racks. I hadn't
enjoyed a holiday sleep-in or a mid-summer stroll and I wasn't
al-frescoing at a charming café.
At 10.30am I was in a state of extreme vulnerability.
To fully appreciate this state you must first reflect again on the
nature of the day. December 26 is, of course, the day after
Christmas. The day after the biggest indulgence of the year. The
morning after the biggest meal. With the belt-pressure of gluttony
comes pressure of another kind. And from personal experience I can
tell you the pressure came at about 10.29am on Boxing Day.
I do not wish to go into the specific details, and I'm sure you
don't want me to either. Needless to say at 10.30am on Boxing Day,
on the third floor of TVNZ's Christchurch building, I was somewhat
indisposed, and the 4.9 magnitude earthquake came as a particularly
rude and unwelcome shock.
There are few things a man can do when caught with his pants
down.
He can curse the earth for shaking. He can curse the power for
cutting and hand towels for collapsing on top of him.
In my case he can fumble around in the pitch black and sigh in
relief that his cell phone light still worked.
Next time nature calls in Christchurch, I hope it doesn't call me
too.
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