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Source: ONE News -
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Domestic abuse is on the increase in New Zealand and so is the
level of violence involved.
That is worrying enough for those who help the victims, but most
alarming, they say, is a rise in the use of strangulation.
It is a violent act where just seconds can mean the difference
between life and a horrific death.
One woman or child is killed every 12-and-a-half days in New
Zealand as the result of domestic violence.
Jill Proudfoot from victim's refuge Shine (Safer Homes in NZ Everyday) says strangulation is basically power display.
"It's saying I could kill you if I want to. Whenever you attack a person's throat you're saying I could kill you," says Proudfoot.
Two recent high profile murder cases in New Zealand involved strangulation.
Nai Yin Xue literally squeezed the life out of his wife and just days before Clayton Weatherston killed and mutilated Sophie Elliot, her mother, Lesley Elliott, says he had held his arm around her throat.
Annette Gillespie from Women's Refuge says sometimes women do not understand the significance of strangulation and that it is in fact an attempt to kill.
Proudfoot says the fact that Weatherston put his arm across Elliott's throat was a real warning sign.
The strangulation statistics make for disturbing reading.
There are no visible injuries 90% of the time, so it is hard for a victim to prove what has happened.
In 90% of cases there has been a history of domestic violence and in 99% of the cases, those who resort to using strangulation, are men.
Despite the dangers, many stay with their abuser, even though it might lead to more terrifying consequences.
"I had one woman say to me at least while I'm living with him I know where he is," says Proudfoot.
ONE News spoke to a woman who finally found the courage to leave her abusive partner.
She says he threw her into a doorway, pushed her on to the ground and when she had the chance to run, he chased her through the house.
She says it filled her days with terror. Worst of all she says, all this happened right in front of their children.
"He ended up pushing me on top of my then four-year-old daughter," says the victim.
After two decades of intense psychological abuse, her husband had started getting physical.
"I knew I had to get out for me and then I would fight for my children even if I had to walk out the door without them," says the woman.
She says she used to be one of those women who did not have the courage to leave.
"Even if a woman thinks she's in an abusive situation, even if she's doubting herself, (she needs) to talk to somebody. I left it way too late," she says.
She hopes her story will help others escape the violence, too.
Click here for more information on organisations that can help with domestic violence.
