Parenting: Children and the internet
Click on Me
We're living in the internet age, and it's more important
than ever before to teach your children how to use the internet
safely. Cyber bullying and sexual abuse can be very hard to monitor
as an adult. To keep your child safe, you should have a clear
internet usage policy in your home, with consequences if they fail
to abide by your rules and limits. This article will discuss some
guidelines to use in your home to help you to keep your teenager
safe on the internet.
Avoid Disclosing Personal Information
It's easy to build relationships on the internet without ever
meeting face to face. Because typing often lets us express almost
our subconscious thoughts, intimacy can build quickly and easily
before a person knows the other in real life. Teach your teen to
guard against feeling too comfortable online, and to avoid giving
out personal information to anyone that they don't know personally.
Information to protect includes: full name, town they live ,school,
birth date, age, account numbers, passwords, and any other
personally identifying information. Predators often "groom" their
victims - getting to know them over a period of time while they
slowly extract bits of personal information from them. They may
even pose as another teen to get your child to let down their
guard. With a small country such as New Zealand, the person
communicating with your child may even know them already
No Suggestive or Personally Identifying Pictures
Explain to your child the danger of posting sexually
explicit or suggestive pictures online. They could attract a
predator, be released to someone your child doesn't want to see
them, or even be seen by a future employer! Remind your teenager
that the internet isn't always as anonymous as it appears to be,
and that they should avoid posting anything they wouldn't want
their future boss to read or see. A photo posted on a face book
page, bebo or my space page is easily copied and pasted to go
somewhere else.
Choose a Vague Screen Name
Show your child how to pick out a screen name that is an expression
of their personality, but still anonymous. Teach them to leave out
their names, ages, birthdates, and locations. For example,
sexxykatie1991 might not be such a great idea, while dodgersfan003
is perfectly acceptable.
Warn Your Teen of the Dangers
Be sure your child is aware of sexual predators and how they
generally operate. Teach them how dangerous it is to meet anyone in
person that they've only met through the internet. Show them how to
keep logs of their chats using instant messaging software, and show
them how to save or archive their emails. There's no need to scare
them to death, but be sure that they have a general knowledge of
internet safety and why it is important. Remind them you trust
their judgement, but ask them to always let an adult they trust
know if they are meeting someone offline line they only knew online
and suggest they take a support person with them. If they are
meeting someone they have met online, teach them to find out where
this person lives first and give any identifying information to a
trusted friend or adult. If they are talking to someone who will
not give them a home number, and will only give a cell, this is a
warning sign.
Encourage Open Communication
Remind your teenager that your door is always open, and
that they can talk to you about anything that makes them feel
uncomfortable. If something on the internet seems weird or strange,
it probably is. Tell your child that you're more than willing to go
to bat for them, but you need to have the information about what's
going on in order to do so. If they're being bullied or
propositioned online, you need to know about it in order to help
them. Developing virtual boundaries of what is and isn't acceptable
is just as important as developing ones in real life.
The internet is a truly wonderful tool. Many of us use it on a
daily basis, either for work or personal use. With proper
boundaries, it can truly expand your teenager's world. Take the
time to teach your teenager how to use the internet safely, to
limit their risks, and to avoid disclosing personal information.
Doing so is a great investment of your time, and will help to keep
them safe.
Rachel Goodchild is a parenting and education
specialist. She's worked as a nanny, teacher and lecturer and is
the author of over 25 educational titles.
