Dare to be a dating dynamo
Kiwi men, charming and lovely as you are, are sometimes not the best at getting the dating thing right. But us girls- we like a bit of wining and dining and time set aside to show us you mean business and you really do like us.
If you want to get a girl, but don't really have a lot of luck on it, these tips are sure to make your date stand out (in a good way!)
Ask her out on a date. This sounds basic but you'd be surprised how many men don't do this. They try to do the casual 'let's catch up sometime' or 'want to come down and get a drink?' If you like her, show her right from the start.
Oh, and while you're at it, make it known you plan to pay. It will make a difference, and it gives the message to even the most militantly equal rights woman that you want to invest in spending some time with them. It also takes the stress away during the date of trying to work out how much money they have for dinner, only to find you were planning to pay. Cut the ambiguity and bring it up right from the start.
On the day call or text to confirm. We like to know it's still on. Us girls can get a bit silly about stuff like that so it sets our mind at ease.
Dress well, smell good and no jandals! Ok if you're meeting after work, take some clothes to change into and splash on some nice aftershave. Otherwise come freshly showered please! If you have no idea how to dress get a good female friend to take you shopping- we can all channel Trinny and Susannah if we need to. And we love shopping with other people's wallets!
Choose a place you have either been before (but not as a regular place with an ex) or a place you know you'll feel at ease in. Pubs, fast food places and loud smoky bars are all big no nos. Find a place that tells us you've made an effort. If we can see you've planned it, we know you've been thinking about us, and this makes us feel you are into us. Even if it's your regular first date place and the plan is a re-run- we won't know, we'll just be impressed that it looks like you've planned a special night for us!
Offer to pick her up, but accept she might like to meet you at the venue. In this day of stalking and weirdness, we girls can be a little funny about letting you know where we live. We like our privacy and space. Some girls often don't let you know exactly where they live until the third or fourth date.
Compliment her when you meet. Girls often spend a lot of time and effort thinking about what they wear for a date- and it's nice to be appreciated. Even if we want you to love us for our great personalities, it's important you think we are beautiful too!
Ask her a lot of questions and be interested in what she is saying. Finding common ground helps you establish connection which builds attraction. There should be a little bit more of her talking than you. The more you let someone talk, the more they find you attractive.
If you get her laughing, that's a great thing. Laughter builds attraction.
If you loved the date, follow through at the end. Tell them you want to see them again face to face. A text to ask after the date is a cop out. Arrange to see them sometime three to five days later. Then a hug and a kiss is all you need to complete it- even if you think they'd go for more, hold back. It will make you appear more attractive.
The next day follow up with an email or text to say you are
looking forward to the next date. Us girls need a gentle reminder
that you are still interested.
*If you don't want a repeat date- all you need to do is thank them for the nice time, and say it was nice meeting them/spending some time with them. The word NICE speaks the words you might otherwise be worried to hear!
Rachel Goodchild - www.twitter.com/rgoodchild