Aliens in Pukekohe?
Did a space disc crash near Pukekohe in 1978?
Were there Life forms on board?
Has there been a cover up and were the alien beings wearing a form of 'rabbit ear style' antennae?
These and other far less rhetorical question will be answered in this rapidly hashed together column.
The story begins in the spring of 1978. Pukekohe was much as it is now, or a rather much now as it was then. The people were simple unassuming folk content to keep to themselves, or on occasion attend the odd swinger's party. (These parties were common around this time, but this information really doesn't enhance this column - in fact it is the subject of a future column I have already started writing for a rival paper under a fake name.)
One Tuesday evening, miniature horse breeder Gloria Dan reported
seeing strange dancing lights in the sky. This on the surface may
not appear particularly strange, and could be explained away, by
any number of known phenomena; however it is when you take into
account the fact that she is blind.
The local GP was able to diagnose her with a mental disorder, and
it was while her husband Ron was driving her to the local mental
institution that the strange activity relevant to this article
actually takes place.
Ron was driving east along the old great south rd when his engine
suddenly ceased and his window wipers began to swing from right to
left as opposed left to right. Then as the car came to a stop he
noticed a glow from a nearby field.
He left his heavily sedated wife in the car to investigate. To
his amazement he looked upon a silvery disc type saucer. The disc
apparently was about the same size as a smaller than average sized
Para pool, and it had a similar ladder stuck on the side of
it.
Ron noticed that the saucer was smoking and wrecked beyond repair,
not that he was expert as he was a furniture upholsterer by
trade.
More importantly there were three small beings groaning beside the
craft. One appeared to be giving another the hymenic manoeuvre, as
if he were choking on something.
Ron claims that they were reddish grey in colour, and wore small
silver jump-suits with pockets on the front. On their pulsating
testicle-like heads they appeared to sport antennae, much like the
old rabbit ear TV aerials.
In a panic Ron scooped up a piece of wreckage and ran 7 miles
back into town where told the Pukekohe sheriff Cole Clydesdale what
he had seen.
Ron Dan has no further involvement in the story and was later sued
by his boss for driving the company Mitsubishi Mirage without
checking the oil first.
Sheriff Clydesdale decided to take a run out to the site
himself, he couldn't find his running shoes, so he took the car
instead.
There was no sign of the craft or the bodies, but he did find some
small metallic wreckage about the same size as disposable oven
trays, and the site was covered in jeep tracks. He gathered up what
he could and returned to his office.
He then received an anonymous collect phone call from Lieutenant
Sykes at Ohakia air base. The transcript of the conversation reads
as follows: "You saw nothing, I repeat nothing. You might think you
saw something but you saw nothing, we have taken care of
everything, I repeat everything, but you saw nothing, I repeat
nothing..." Sheriff Clydesdale hung up at this point.
The air-force clearly knew more about the incident then they were
letting on.
Clydesdale later began writing a book on his experiences of 78,
some of it actually mentions the UFO encounter, but most of it is a
smutty James Hewitt style tell-all book that degrades several local
women. He never completed it. He was tragically killed when a
routine air force training exercise went wrong and his house was
doused in napalm and Agent Orange. A life-long asthma sufferer he
was unable to get to his inhaler.
27 years later, Ron Dan took me to the exact location of the crash.
We searched for three or fours hours but it was very difficult to
see any sign of any wreckage. The fact that a large Dressmart store
now stands there didn't exactly help.
