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Football n Free Flags?! They just don't mix! - Source: Reuters -
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Toon claw their way back up (with free flags!)
This week Newcastle clawed their way out of the relegation zone with a Cheese 'n' Onion pastie in one hand and a free flag in the other after they beat Boro 3-1 at St James Park.
And considering it was just the Magpies FIRST win in TWENTY games, it gave more hope to Alan Shearer that he might not have to suffer ONE MORE minute of Mark Larro next season.
"There were some big, big performances from big men tonight, they were brilliant," said the Captain of the Toontanic, who obviously forgot that Lil Mickey Owen was on the pitch for a bit cause
A. He didn't get stretched off with knee/ankle/leg/groin-knack B. He forgot to actually score a goal and C. He is so little he could actually have been the magical pixie that pulled Bendtner's kecks down!
Anything you can do, the SPECIAL ONE can do better
Never one to let anyone else get any attention, former Chelsea mouth and current Inter Milan boss Jose Mourinho took to the pitch this week to have a bit of a kick about during an Inter training session.
Watch Mourinho nearly breaking someone's leg before scoring a decent goal because no-one will try tackle him in case he shouts/sells or sacks them HERE!
Bolt offers Ron some 'advice'
This week C. Ron has been given some advice from the very, very, very fast Usain Bolt who is set to cheer on United as they get beat 6-nil by Arsenal on Sunday (yes, wishful thinking, I know!)
Apparently, although there is nothing wrong with Bolt's very,
very, very fast legs, there could be something wrong with his eyes
as he told El Diver, how best not to fall over.
"I explained to him a few things about when he is running and
reaches top speed he starts to tip over, he always does that," Bolt
said.
Bolt, obviously missing the fact that when El Diver falls over - it's not because he is running too fast, it's because falling over is indeed the ENTIRE POINT!
Liverpool show-off lush new away kit
Yes. It really is that time of the year where mums 'n' dad have to sell the car and remortgage the house to buy new kits for the kids, and while Chelsea's new garb is some kind of Roman-esque blue armoury thingie, and United's kit with laces that Ronaldo can strangle himself for penalties with is still to be unveiled, Liverpool's new away kit is so lush I would even snog Drogba for it......
You can look at Liverpool's lush new kit while Liverpool's 12th man otherwise known as a gloriously gobby scouser, gives Xabi and Renia some penalty tips HERE!
Wenger defends Bendtner's Arse-ne
Never one to let a good excuse get in the way of a FACT, Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has leapt to the defence of 'Arsenal's favourite son', Nicklas Bendtner, claiming that the Denmark international's recent pants falling down incident was the result of a "set up."
According to Wenger, some magical pixie made Bendtner get rotten in a West London nightclub after Arsenal were gunned down quicker than a second-round Ricky Hatton knockout by United in the Champions League, then pulled his pants down while a strategically placed photography took the incrimination shot.
"I was angry - but he has been set up," Wenger the whinger said. "People make the story that he was drunk. He was not drunk. He did not put his trousers down, somebody did it for him and somebody was posted there with a camera."
Wenger still fined 'Arsenal's favourite son' for an undisclosed sum, punishing him because "he should not have gone out" rather than for the wearing Armani undies just cause David Beckham does.
Carlos Tevez: Man most Wanted
If there was one man (apart from Ron's tantrums and Drogba's diving) who took up the most space on back pages this week it was one Carlos Tevez.
It has been reported that Tev is ready to leave United due to the fact that he don't get no love from Sir Ferg due to the fact that Sir Ferg likes a bit of Dimitar Lazy-tov better.
Now that Carlos the Cave Man has shown interest in leaving Manchester, Chelski, Tottenham, Man City and even United's arch rivals Liverpool have shown interested, which if Liverpool did managed to nab him, would, along with Yossi Benayoun and Dirk Kuyt, obviously put the side as front runners for a three-pronged forward attack most likely to scare small children.
SPOTTED!
This week in SPOTTED! Manchester United's El Diver may or may not have come to grips with the fact that he may or may not love men almost as much as he may or may not love himself - which you can watch (after you've read 'Arry quote o the week) HERE with your eyes.
'Arry Redknapp quote of the week
"I'll implement a strong rule next season that drinking is a no-no here. Footballers should not drink."
"You shouldn't put diesel in a Ferrari. I know it's hard but they are earning big money, they are role models to kids."
'Arry Redknapp after Spurs sometimes skipper Ledley 'one leg' King's both legs amazingly appeared to let him play a game of football AND get arrested all on the very same day.
BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!
If you would like to check out some of the best n worst
of the football week in pictures
CLICK HERE
eh!
