-
Singer Bono of U2 performs - Source: Reuters -
Related
I'm sure I wasn't the only one.
When U2 announced their "triumphant" return to New Zealand last weekend, there was an audible groan across the country - or at least in my house.
Really Bono? Weren't you just here?
In actual fact it's been four years since the Irish rockers were last in town.... I just haven't recovered from their last visit.
The 2006 U2 concert at Mt Smart Stadium remains - and I suspect always will - the worst gig experience of my life. And that includes the time I was knocked out at The Hives' Big Day Out performance.
We had general admission tickets and had fought our way to the mid-field, approximately 50 metres back from the stage, over to the left.
We arrived two hours before the opening act - Kanye West - took the stage and the stadium was already heaving with people. Most of whom had been drinking since, if not before, they arrived.
So we wrestled some space and spent the next two hours trying to stand our ground - not helped by the pack of idiots who thought it was hilarious to play touch rugby with half-drunk bottles of Export Gold, which they continually kicked at people's heads, causing them to explode and rain warm beer over everyone.
Fortunately, this tomfoolery stopped when Mr West took the stage - but not because they wanted to listen to the lyrical maestro.
(NB: While we now all know Kanye to be a megalomaniacal douche bag, in 2006 he was still pretty cool - and widely regarded to be one of the best live performers of the time.)
So no - the band of merry idiots didn't stop to listen. They stopped to join the cacophony of heckling, which flooded the stadium.
Not because there was anything wrong with Kanye's performance - he'd barely had the chance to get going. Rather, the crowd took umbrage at being made to listen to something other than U2.
They went to hear banal stadium rock and they weren't going to listen to anything else, dammit.
When the concert did begin, all was well for about five minutes. Until the charming soul behind me realised he'd drunk too much beer and needed to relieve himself.
Except he didn't want to lose his place in the scrum. So he unzipped himself and went right there, on the ground& and partially on my leg.
It was around this time, I realised I don't really like U2. Certainly not enough to put up with their fans.
As I spent the next hour and half listening the tone-deaf hollering of the crowd around me (which completely drowned out the band) and trying not to focus on the warm, damp leg of my jeans, I swore I would never, ever cross the threshold of a U2 concert again.
So yes, I'm sure the 360 Tour is phenomenal, with its "cylindrical video system of interlocking LED panels and a steel structure rising 150 feet from the floor over a massive stage with rotating bridges".
And yes, I'm sure Jay Z will be a sight to behold (although I really hope he doesn't meet the same response as Kanye four years ago...).
But it looks like I'll be otherwise engaged that night. Doing something - anything - that doesn't involve 45,000 drunken yobs with poor bladder control.
