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Zsa Zsa Gabor - Source: Reuters -
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By now you've probably heard that Zsa Zsa Gabor is on her way
out. The 93-year-old has been read her last rites and discharged
herself from hospital, to spend her last days at home.
You've probably also asked the following questions: Who the hell is
Zsa Zsa Gabor and why do I care that she's dying?
I have certainly faced a barrage of such questions from people who
feel it is my business to know.
Which it probably is. But I couldn't answer the question on Monday
morning.
Today, however, I can.
And let me say, having learnt a little more about Ms Gabor, I
really quite like her.
Officially, the media have been calling Gabor an actress - the star
of such "illustrious" productions as Queen Of Outer Space (1958)
and the original Moulin Rouge (1952).
Unofficially, she is famous for being famous. The original
celebutante.
Before Paris and Nicole, there was Zsa Zsa. Who, incidentally, was
once married to Paris Hilton's grandfather, Conrad Hilton.
She and her younger sister Eva Gabor were regulars on the Hollywood
social scene - and some of the first celebrities to undergo regular
and repeated cosmetic surgeries (something Zsa Zsa denies to this
day but her own surgeons have confirmed).
She is also a notorious man eater - and gold digger, marrying nine
very wealthy men (although one of those marriages was annulled
after it turned out she was still married to someone else).
Her current husband is the Duke of Saxony, which makes Gabor's
official title Princess Zsa Zsa.
This all goes some way to answering who is Zsa Zsa Gabor. But still
sheds no light on why we should care about her impending
departure.
But perhaps this will:
Here is a collection of Ms Gabor's best quotes:
On her childhood:
"I learned in school that money isn't everything, it's happiness
that counts. So Mamma sent me to a different school."
On her famous catchphrase:
"I call everyone 'Darling' because I can't remember their
names."
On men:
"I want a man who is kind and understanding. Is that too much to
ask of a millionaire?"
"There is nothing wrong with a woman welcoming all men's advances
as long as they are in cash."
"To a smart girl men are no problem - they're the answer."
On divorce:
"Legal separation gives the husband time to hide his money."
"Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as
silly as getting married just because you do."
"I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his
house."
"You never really know a man until you have divorced him."
Sure, some people read these and snort with derision, thinking
Gabor a shallow and vacuous, money-hungry tart.
Which she is.
But at least she admits it. And is more than happy to joke about
it, at her own expense.
In an age where celebrities take themselves so painfully seriously,
Gabor is a shining star of dry wit.
So yes, you should care that she's not long for this earth -
because, frankly, the world could do with a few more Zsa Zsas.
