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Roberto Benigni - Source: You Tube -
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Right, I think I have this figured out.
Hollywood has obviously decided we, "the viewers", cannot handle too much excitement in our awards shows. It would be bad for our health.
Hence, yesterday's Emmy Awards - which heralded a host of surprise winners - was the most boring ceremony in recent memory.
The powers-that-be must have known there were upsets on the way and issued strict instructions to the winners:
"Don't be smart, don't be emotional. And whatever you do, don't even think of cracking a joke."
So they didn't.
Sure, not everyone can be Roberto Benigni - who delighted viewers the world over with his overwrought, over-excitable acceptance speech at the 1999 Oscars
But couldn't someone have mustered a little spirit? A little humour?
George Clooney came the closest and he was accepting an award for his humanitarian work in Haiti.
Part of the problem, I suspect, was the fact so many of the winners were new to the game. They were overwhelmed. They wanted to thank their mum and dad, their dog and their neighbour's cousin.
But not everyone had that excuse.
Particularly not the host, Jimmy Fallon, whose scripted attempts at humour were limp at best.
I like Jimmy and think he is a genuinely funny man. But someone had him on a leash yesterday and he was clearly scared stiff of doing anything remotely controversial - or entertaining.
His musical interludes were laboured and the public's Twitter introductions were utterly cringe-making.
So for those equally disappointed by yesterday's efforts, here are some of the best award moments from Hollywood.
SALLY FIELD - 1980
Proof that you don't need to try to be funny
to be mighty entertaining.
GERDA WEISSMAN KLEIN - 1996
After the standard spiel from the documentary maker, Holocaust
survivor Gerda takes to the mic with
a speech that will give you
chills.
SACHA BARON COHEN - 2007
Borat brings
adult humour to the Golden
Globes.
ROBERT DOWNEY JNR - 2010
Sarcasm may be the lowest form of wit,
but it's still pretty funny.
RICKY GERVAIS - 2008
Alright, so this isn't actually an acceptance speech but it is very
funny. And has some
genuine pointers on how to make an acceptance
speech.
Read more of Joanna Hunkin's articles.
