An emotional Senior Constable Keith Abbott has told the High Court in Wellington that not a day has gone by without him thinking of the night he killed Steven Wallace.
The defence has opened its case in the private prosecution against Abbott, who is accused of murdering Wallace in Waitara in April 2000. It says Abbott was acting in self defence.
Defence lawyer Patrick Mooney told the jury that for the private murder prosecution to succeed, it must be proven that Abbott did not act in self defence. Mooney said Abbott believed his life was in danger.
Abbott has told the court of watching 23-year-old Wallace smash windows in another police car. He said he drove to the police station to draw a firearm because he believed Wallace was a threat to himself and anyone else about at the time.
Believing Wallace to be another local man he had a good rapport with, Abbott tried to reason with him, calling him by his first name and urging him to drop his weapons.
By the time he shot Wallace, Abbott says he had retreated 20 metres but feared he would trip over the kerb.
Abbott also said he did not know dogs were on the way or the position of his fellow officer at the scene.
"As far as I was concerned it was just me and Steven Wallace," Abbott said.
He said he repeatedly tried to persuade Wallace to drop the bat, as well as a golf club he was carrying, and warned him several times that he was carrying a loaded firearm.
Abbott described in detail how Wallace advanced toward him, threatening to kill him with a baseball bat which was aggressively raised above his head.
Abbott said he repeatedly tried to calm Wallace down, but he was becoming increasingly outraged and said a number of times: "If I get you I'll (expletive) I'll kill you."
Abbott said he remembered wondering what Wallace was on, and thinking it would have taken a bulldozer to stop his advance.
"Not a day has gone by without me thinking of that night," Abbott said.
Handed the baton and pepper spray he was carrying on the morning, Abbott said both would have been ineffective against an enraged attacker armed with a bat.
He told the court he did not discuss with his fellow officer how they would confront Wallace because any policeman would know his duty in the circumstances.
Asked why he shot Wallace in the back, Abbott said all the shots were not intentionally placed in the positions they were. He said he only remembers firing three shots.
Four shots were found in Wallace's body.
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