Before kids grow up, and become the slobbering teenage drunks that patrol Queen Street every weekend, they are exposed to sugar. Oh, wicked substance! You know when they've had the stuff. You know when they want the stuff. You know when it's waning, by degrees, inside their pink little veins.
Most babies quickly become pretty hardened users of sugar, and as for toddlers, there's nothing more sick and depraved than a two-year-old in the grip of a sugar rush . Addiction is plain for all to behold, and it will likely last a lifetime.
But before the advent of the internet, we were never able to see the moment when this filthy and discombobulating vice took hold. Now we may.
Though the parents insist they don't intend to make this a habit, I'm unconvinced. Let me know how the whole no-more-root-beer thing works out.
An altered state of a different kind overwhelms those who watch the next video . Judging by the comments section, it provokes bizarre rants against women and Asians, i.e. the usual brunt of prejudice about poor driving. Granted this is an EPIC fail.
This is like history; the first time it's tragedy, the second is farce. Reading the comments section of Youtube, I question whether we need the gobbets of atavistic drool that accompany what is clearly the day someone's marriage broke up. The internet has unleashed knowledge, stupidity and prejudice in equal amounts.
So the final video is offered as a redemptive note. What would you do if you were working in a McDonald's late at night, and a drive-through customer appeared to have a cup floating , without assistance over his gear stick? You'd exclaim. You'd call your colleagues. You'd laugh and you'd share, for a very wonderful moment, an unexpected but altogether welcome levity.